Often, one, like myself, and perhaps yourself, Tom, wil blithely equate the adjective 'new' with different or unique, and then find ourselves on the short-side perceiving that we are repeating the same mistake again, and possibly even again, with all of the recriminations, judgements, and shame that can go with it. Setting aside the argument that once one has recognized making a mistake it is no longer possible to make the exact same one again, let's give 'new' a chance to do deeper work and explore some additional definitions (thank you Oxford American) that get at why I still follow this aphorism forty years on. Imagine 'new' as: 1. "Already existing but seen, experienced, or acquired recently or now." This gets at why repetitions happen, why they may need to happen. Mistakes (and their companions successes) are multi-layered, reflecting one's knowledge, experience, self-awareness, focus, skill, timing, perceptions, and beliefs along with that messy business of context/opportunity and relationships, the "you, me, us-ness of life" as I call it. No wonder it takes awhile to learn from them! No wonder what may be new about a mistake may be subtle and only revealed through seeming repetitions! Hence, the questions: What keeps me in this familiar state? Where is my learning now? 2. "Beginning anew and regarded as better than what went before." What a gift of grace this one is! Fuck up, start over. Figure something out, start over. Be changed/shaken/flattened, it will take time, but start over. The implication here being keep your new mistakes surviveable, which applies to successes as well. And, my favorite these days, 3. "Unfamiliar or strange." What if the new mistake is because of taking a chance, doing something that stretches one's sense of oneself, that is unpredictable? What if making the new mistake is fun, invigorating, or brave? Yes, indeed, Tom, keep making new mistakes and keep letting us know how it's going.
Often, one, like myself, and perhaps yourself, Tom, wil blithely equate the adjective 'new' with different or unique, and then find ourselves on the short-side perceiving that we are repeating the same mistake again, and possibly even again, with all of the recriminations, judgements, and shame that can go with it. Setting aside the argument that once one has recognized making a mistake it is no longer possible to make the exact same one again, let's give 'new' a chance to do deeper work and explore some additional definitions (thank you Oxford American) that get at why I still follow this aphorism forty years on. Imagine 'new' as: 1. "Already existing but seen, experienced, or acquired recently or now." This gets at why repetitions happen, why they may need to happen. Mistakes (and their companions successes) are multi-layered, reflecting one's knowledge, experience, self-awareness, focus, skill, timing, perceptions, and beliefs along with that messy business of context/opportunity and relationships, the "you, me, us-ness of life" as I call it. No wonder it takes awhile to learn from them! No wonder what may be new about a mistake may be subtle and only revealed through seeming repetitions! Hence, the questions: What keeps me in this familiar state? Where is my learning now? 2. "Beginning anew and regarded as better than what went before." What a gift of grace this one is! Fuck up, start over. Figure something out, start over. Be changed/shaken/flattened, it will take time, but start over. The implication here being keep your new mistakes surviveable, which applies to successes as well. And, my favorite these days, 3. "Unfamiliar or strange." What if the new mistake is because of taking a chance, doing something that stretches one's sense of oneself, that is unpredictable? What if making the new mistake is fun, invigorating, or brave? Yes, indeed, Tom, keep making new mistakes and keep letting us know how it's going.
E.